Twilight Chaos
by Dr.BadassInABlueBox
Summary: I've captured the Volturi, Cullens, and the Werewolves for no reason at all! very random, and full of stupidity..please check it out
1. Welcome To My Room!

Twilight Chaos

**This is dedicated to all my friends at role play...and is inspired by all those torturing and daring Fanfics i've read**

Me: sup everyone?

Aro: where are we?

Me: at my house

Cauis: and what are we doing here?

Me: i kidnapped you! -smiles sweetly-

Heidi: kidnapped us? but why?

Me: cause I'm bored

Alec: taht's not a good excuse

Me: -fan girl squeals- Alec!

Alec: yes?

Me: i love you!

Jacob: awkward

Edward: very

Jane: listen, who ever you are-

Me: I'm Jessie

Edward: taht's not your real name

Me: shut up Edward!

Jane: -coughs for attention- Jessie! get us out of here or else!

Me: or else what?

Jane: Pain -glares at me-

-nothing happens

Jane: aaaaah! why won't it work?

Me: cause I'm the author and i don't want it to work -sticks out tongue-

Emmett: i dont get it

Me: well, Emmett, since I'm the one typing this story i have control over all of you -evil laugh- -coughs- i wonder how their evil laughs can last for so long

Aro: its quite simple -evil laugh for like 3 hours-

-everyone falls asleep-

Rosalie: we're vampires, we don't fall asleep

Seth: be quiet Rose! she's the author...and she's evil, don't make her mad!

Me: good boy Seth -gives Seth a bone-

Seth: i don't like bones

Me: i'm the author remember

Jane: you do know that you don't own Twilight right?

Me: sadly yes, Carlisle, will you do the disclaimer?

Carlsile: sure! Jessie doesn't own Twilight

Jasper: cause if she did own it

Emmett: we'd all be doomed! -runs around screaming like a little girl-

Rosalie :some man

Esme: I'm hungry

Rose: we don't eat

Esme: Jessie wants me to be hungry

Rose: -screams- am i the only sane person in this house!

Everyone: yup

Rose -growls-

Edward: -reads my mind- you're planning on leaving us here for ever?

Me: well, it seems like I'm going to be bored for ever, so yeah

Alice: -has a vision- yup she's right, she is gonna be bored for ever

Me: Alice look!

Alice: what? -looks around and sees an A

-owls see her and start attacking her-

Alice :aaaaaaaah!evil owls! help!

Owl: you and what army

Jacob and Edward: this army

-werewolves all transorm into chihuauas

-Cullens start dancing like maniacs, except for don't Alice-

Bella: what's going on?

Emmett: i I'mdon't know!

Jane: -laughs-

Me: -joins Jane with her laughing-

Alec: freaks

Me: i know

Alec: i was talking about you

Me: but you said freaks

Alec: so

Me: you added an S, and I'm only one person..didn't you go to school?

Alec: i did, but satying with you is just like living with a hundred freaks

Me: i thought you loved me!

Alec: i never said i did

Edward: -still dancing- you were thinking it

Alec: no i wasn't

Aro: aw, Alec has a crush

Caius: Crush, crush, crush, crush

-Everyone, except for me and Alec starts chanting Caius's song-

Me: idiots

-Cullens stop dancing- -wolves turn back into humans-

Me: ehy! how did you guys stop dancing?

Renesmee: i stole your key board -smiles innocently-

Me: but no one has the writing authorities except for me!

Nessie: not any more! -sticks out tongue-

Me: why you little-

Jacob: -coughs- what are you going to call her?

Me: -scared- angel! just adorable

Nessie: aw, thank you

Me: -snatches key board from Nessie-

Nessie: -pouts-

Edward: how could you be so heartless?

Me: how dare you call me heartless? -a cage falls through my room and on to Edward, and then it's lock suddenly locks itself-

Jane: creepy

Me: my roof!

Carlsile- goes inside cage- what am i doing here?

Me: i used my magic powers and pushed you in the cage so Edward wouldn't sufefr alone

Carlsile: oh, well taht's a reasonable explanation

Me: -smiles- i know

-everyone starts backing away from me and heads towards the door-

Me: where do you think you're going?

Jacob: back to La Push -Jacob starts walking towards cage- -he goes in side and locks the cage up and swallows the keys-

Me: not while i'm still alive!

Felix: that can be arranged

Jacob: why am i in a cage?

Me: cause you tried to escape

Jacob: i wasn't the only one! and i thought you loved me

Me: i love Carlisle too, but i felt like putting you in a cage so shut up!

Alec: i thought you loved me

Me: like you care

Alec: I do

Me: really?

Alec:no

-takes out lighter and starts to burn don'tAro's hair-

Aro: aaaaaaaaaaaaaah! my wonderful hair! help me!

Alice: why are you burning Aro's hair

Me: -ignoring alice and looking at Alec- if you don't say you love me i'll burn Aro's hair

Alec: look, Jessie, they're running away!

Me: don't be silly, Aro's hair isn't gonna run away. now tell me you love me

Alec:not his hair! the others -points to escaping vamps and wolves-

Me: you guys! -points to escaping wolves and vamps (except for edward, carlisle, and Jacob)- get your butts over here!

-everyone returns-

Me: well that was easy

Aro: thank goodness she forgot about my hair

Alec: stupid master

Me: nah ill be kind today

Leah: why?

Me: i don't know, i guess i've had enough randomness for today..and this is enough for the readers to bear

Heidi? like, what readers?

Me:the ones taht are reading this fanfic

Marcus: fanfic?

Me: never mind

Alec: please readers..review!

Me: thank you alec!

Alec: i still don't love you though

Jane: -to Alec- you know what a fanfic is?

Emmett and Jasper: yes please review! or else we're doomed

Jane: how come i'm the only one taht doesn't knwo waht a fanfic is?

Me: jane, shut up!

Everyone (except Jane) :byeeeeeeeeeeeee

**please review everyone, if i don't get reviews i won't continue :( and the characters will be doomed!**

**oh and if anyone would like to make an appearance just tell me ok**


	2. Cool, Weird, and Hip

Twilight Chaos

**Twilgith Chaos 2**

**welcome back my lovely readers!**

Me: yo

Alec: Sup?

Jane: we so totally rock dude!

Caius: fosizzle ma Homies -karate chops a random peice of wood that was on the floor-

Me: o_o

Alec: O_O

Jane: i'm disturbed Master Caius

Caius: who do ya think you are woman?

Me: ignore the hip freak

Everone but Caius: yes mam

Alec: aren't you forgetting something?

Me: yes! i don't own sponge bob!

Alec: sponge bob?

Me: oh yeah...i -sob- don't -sob- own -sob- twilight -breaks out in tears

Everyone: -applause-

Me: aw, thank you, thank you -bows-

Jane: for what?

Me: for clapping for me

Aro: we weren't clapping for you

Me: really?

Demetri: yeah we were clapping for Seth...he actually jumped out of you're window while you weren't looking and now he's gonna open the door for us!

Everyone but me and Seth: yaaaaaaaaaaay!  
Me: yes!

Bella: you're happy that we're leaving?

Me: nope, i'm happy cause my visitor is here!

everyone but me: visitor? what visitor?

Me: her name is Jane!

Jane: what? but that's my name

Me: yeah, i know, that's why for this chapter, my guest is gonna be called Jane1..and the evil Jane that causes pain is gonna be called Jane2!

Jane: what? i wanna be Jane1!

Seth: gets in once he hears about my visitor- Be quiet Jane! she's the mad authoress remember?

Me: im not mad, I'm happy!

Edward: he means mad as in crazy

Me: oh, okay..then that's me

Jane: i still wanna be Jane1

Me: you can't be

Jane: why?

Me: for no reason at all

Jane: you're mean

Me:i know -grins-

Jane1: -enters- hey guys!

everyone but Jane2: hi Jane1!

Emmett: so who are you Jane1?

Me: she's my sister!

Edward: you don't have any sisters

Me: well, she's not my real sister

Carlsile: she's a human, she has mass, and volume and density..so she's real

Me: well that means : vamps and wolves aren't real! and renesmee is half real! cool

Carlsile: how could we not be real

Me: you're not humans

Edward: what ever

Bella: -hits edwrad on his head- be nice!

Edwrad: ow! rubs the bump coming out of his head

Me: Jane1 is like a sister to me...cause in role paly i play as her twin brother!

Jasper: and who does she paly as?

Me: jane!

Jane2: i have a fan? awesome..-looks at edward and he feels pain-

Me: of course you do Jane!

Jane1: jane you're soooooo awesome!

Jane2: i know

Alec: so if she's Jane..then you have to be Rosalie! am i right?

Me: yes, i am Rosalie...Jane's twin brother!

Jane2: i thought my twin brother was Alec

Me:i;m stuck with a bunch of idiots

Jane1: i'm not an idiot!

Me: shut up everyone!

-evreyone shuts up-

Me: good kids :D

Me: now, you may have the honors Jane1!

Jane1: okay -smirks evilly-

Me: hands Jane1 a lighter

Jane: -chases Demetri everywhere-

Demetri: aaaaaaaah! crazy woman! crazy woman! aaaaaaaah!

Jane1: -traps demetri at a corner and takes out lighter-

Demetri: no, please don't have some mercy!

Jane1: -burns Demetri and drags him back to my room-

Me: should we spill the water on him now..or wait till something in him is burned?

Jane1: the second choice

Me: okay! -smiles- oh Jacob-y

Jacob: -groans-...yes?

Me: come sit on this chair -smiels and points to a chair-

Jacob: okay? -sits on chair-

Jane1: -walks up to chair and takes a pair of scissors out of her pocket- i hate you Jacob Black -starts cutting Jacob's hair-

Jacob: no! not my beautiful hair!

Bella: no not his beautiful hair!

Edwrad: you think his hair is beautiful?

Bella: -gulps-, no love, we don't wnat Nessie's future husband to be bald now do we?

Nessie: -looks at Jacob's new hair cut and drops on the floor laughing-

Jacob: some imprint..well at least she's happy

Me: idiot

Jane1: i know

Edwrad: -backs away slowly and stops at a corner in his cage-

Jane1: -goes itno the cage and traps Edward-

-curtain falls and hides Jane1 and Edward-

Bella: why did the curtain hide Edward and Jane1?

Me: you don't wanna know

Edward: aaaaaaaaaaah!

Bella: oh no! what's happening to him?

Me:oh, Jane1's Beating him up..he's an idiot, he deserves that

Bella:-hears edward screaming again- my Edward! -falls to floor and starts crying without tears-

Me: come on Bella, he's not worth you're tears

Bella: vampires don't have tears

Me: fine then, he's not worth your tearless cries

Jane1: -from behind curtain- take this Edward!

Me: -bursts out laughing-

Everyone, but me: idiot

Me: -smiles- i know!

Jane1: -exits cage and the curtain goes away revealing a beaten up Edward-

Me: -high fives Jane-

Chocolate Milk: hi everyone!

Everyone: hi, who are you?

Me: this is my other guest, she didn't tell me her name, but in her review she siad she liked chocolate milk, so her name is CM (chcolate milk)

Everyone: hey CM

Me: well, my icy blue eyed friend, who's first? Caius, Nessie, Rosalie, Heidi, Edwrad, or Gianna?

CM: mmm...Heidi and Rosalie

Me: okay!

Rosalie & Heidi: what's going on?

Me: -straps Heidi and Rose in chairs- CM is gonna give you a hair cut with her chain saw! -smiles-

CM: -cuts Rose's hair with a chain saw and makes her have a buzz cut-

Rose: noooooo! my beautiful hair!

Emmett: -rolls on the floor laughing-

Rose: -to Emmett- stop it you idiot!

CM: -makes Heidi bald-

Hedi: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Felix: hahahhahahahha!

CM and Me: -smile showing teeth-

Me: what next my good friend?

CM: Nessie and Caius

Caius: what about me lady? i'm soo cool you dunn stand no chance against me! word

Me: she's gona torture the two of you!

Caius and Ness: why?

Me: caius: cause she hates him and Nessie: cause she stole Jacob from her

Jacob: noooooo...my Nessie!

Me: Jacob..you're still in the cage, and if you continue being a jerk, you're not getting out any time soon

Jacob: -sad- ok

CM: now, what to do, what to do?

Me: how about you paint Caius's hair pink !

Caius: not my wonderful hair!

Marcus: he just dyed it white!

CM, Me, and Jane1: you mean it's not white? cool...

Edward: -to me- you think everything is cool

Me: me? really? cool :D -jumps up and down like a maniac-

Alec: stop jumping up and down like a maniac

Me: ok -stops-

CM: -paints Caius's hair pink-

Everyone but Caius: -laughs-

Caius: -growls-

Everyone: -shut up-

Me: what about Ness?

CM: i know!

Fairy: -appears outta no where- hi

Everyone: hey!

Fairy: everyone, i'm gonna make Jacob unimprint on renesmee!

Me: cool

Edward: cut that out!

Me: cool, cool, cool, -repeats a million times-

Jane2: how annoying!

Jacob: -magically stops liking Nessie, and doesn't feel like the world is spinning around her-

Nessie, Bella,and Edward: finally! Thank Goodnees!

Jacob: weird

Sam: now we can have a war with the blood suckers!

Werewolves, except Seth and Jacob: yes!

Carlsile: we have a treaty Sam

Sam: darn!

Me: -hands Jacob over to CM- you can have him...but i need him back in the next chapter

CM: ok! now for Edward -starts palying this is me and we rock by Camp Rock-

Edward: -holds head- nooo! anything but Camp Rock it hurts! -falls to floor- i'm melting! (i didnt really get what you meant by torturing him with Camp Rock, i hope this was ok)

Alice: oh get up you idiot..they're just songs

Edward: they're worse then burning!

Me: speakiing of burning...

Demetri: get the fire away, get it away! aaaaaaaaaah!

Jane1: oh yeah -spills osme water on Demetri-

Demetri: -all covered up in ash- -points to me- you, stupid girl

Me: -points to Demetri- you stupid vampire!

-glaring contest between me and Demetri-

Jane2: you two suck

Caius, with pink hair: suck baaaaaadly brothers

Me: I'm a girl

Everyone but me and Alec: really?

Alec: hey, guys, come on, she went through all that trouble just to kidnap us for her own pleasure and you treat her that way!

Everyone but me and Alec: duh!

Me: thanks Alec..that didn't make me feel better, but thanks anyways

Jane1: i love you Aleeeeeeeeeeec -faints-

Me: -sticks out tongue at fainted Jane1- Alec is mine! all mine!

Jane1: -unfaints- he is mine! -hugs Alec-

Me: nu-uh1

Jane1: uh-huh

Alec: i love you both!

Me and Jane1: really? -faint-

CM:okay? weird...-whispers to Felix- by the way you messed up freak, Gianna likes you...why don't you tell her how much you love her?

Felix: ok? -yells- Gianna i love you!

Gianna: -faints- (sorry, i suck at confessions O_O)

Everyone that hasn't fainted: weird

Edward: cool

Me: -unfaints (and yes i know that there is no such word as 'unfaints')- OMG! Edward said Cool!

Everyone looks at Edward: O_O

Edward: -points to me- she started it..i think she's contagious!

Me: i am?...cool

Everyone but me : -looks at me- shut up already!

Me: okay okay!

Jane1 and Gianna: -are conscious-

-knock on door-

Me: who is it?

Person: i'm a random guy that suddenly came

Me: ok..come in!

Random Guy: -comes in with a clip board- can you please sign this? -hands clipboard to me- it's for the vampire proof cage you bought last chapter

Me: oh...did you guys really? have to send it through the roof? -looks at hole in the roof-

Edward: did you guys really have to send it?

Random Guy: -growls- yes we did!

Seth: be careful RG! she's a mad authoress! she's evil too

Me: good boy seth -gives Seth chocolate-

Seth: no! not the Chocolate! anything but that! hides in cage with Carlsile and Edward-

Me: weird? -signs stupid paper-

Jane2: i'm booooooooored!

Alec: me toooooooooo

Caius: me threeeeeeeeeee

Me: shut uuuuuuuuuuup!

Edward: you say shut up too much

Me: i'm gonna kill you Edward! -chases Edward in his Cage-

Esme: well, that's it for now!

Carlsile: bye everyone

Alec: please review

Jane1 and CM: byeeeeeeeee!

Kuzco: if you don't review, she'll kill you!

Everyone but Kuzco: how did you get here?

Kuzco: Yzma's lever that always does stupid things

Everyone: ohhh

Bella: actually, if you don't review she'll not continue

Emmett: and then she'll haunt you for the rest of your lives!

Bella: that too

**as I said, if anyone would like to join me, please tell me ok! **

**love y'all**

**Jessie~**


	3. Cliffs

**Twilight chaos 3**

**Hellos everyone! me again! to any Muslims that are reading this, HAPPY RAMADAN!**

**oh and my friend said that my story could get bannedif i type it in the chat style way.. is that true? causeall of the stories like this never got banned..just curious...now on with the story**

Alec: guys!

readers: hi Alec!

Jane: Jessie doesn't own Twilight, she's just borrowing us for ever, that's it

Bella; speaking of Jessie -looks around- where is she?

Alec: She's still chasing Edward

Edward: actually, she stopped

Alice: oh no! does that mean she's lost?

Jacob: yes! now we can escape!

Esme: no, we have to find her

Emmett: why?

Sam: because she's the authoress, and we're not gonna get out until she lets us

Everyone: oh!

Me: -walks in- hey guys!

Everyone but me: Jessie!-group hug-

Me: -awkward feeling- okay? i missed you too..i think

Seth: don'tworry they're just happy that you're here, cause if you weren't we would never get out

Me: -sad- oh, is that what you think of me?

Everyone: yes!

Me: hey! you guys are supposed to say'no, we love ya jessie, we won't leave' and then we all smile and have a great time

Aro: that's not a good idea

Me: shut up

Alec: i missed you,Jess

Me; aw, thanks

Alec; yeah, there's no one to annoy the hell out of me when you're gone

Me; idiot

Carlisle, Edward and jacob; -start dancing-

everyone but them : O_O

Edward: And I just can't keep living this way so

starting today, I'm breaking out of this cage

Jacob: Im standing up, Imma face my demons

I'm manning up, Imma hold my ground

Carlisle: I've had enough, now I'm so fed up

Time to put my life back together right now

Me: i love this song! -starts dancing with Alec-

alec: but i dont want to dance!

Me; it's out of your hands -sticks out tongue-

guys in cage:-break cage-

me: awesome!

Edward: thas a new one

Me: yeah! awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome -repeats a million times just to get on Eddy's nerves-

Edward: who'sEddy?

Me: you are! -claps-

Edward:my name is Edwrad not Eddy

Bella: i like your new nick nsme

Eddy: thanks Bells -kisses her-

everyone but Bells and Eddy: get a room you idiots!

-knock on door-

Alec: who could that be?

Jane: Let's find out -walks towards door-

Me: -jumps in front of Jane- no Jane!

Jane: why?

Me; it could be 'HIM'

Seth:-scared- 'him'? -screams-

Aro: who is he?

jasper: -opens door-

Me: -hides and drags Seth and Alec with her and looks towards door-

alec: why'd you drag us with you?

Me: cause i love you two and i don't wnat you guys to die! now shut up

Seth: we'regonna die?

Me: i said shut up!

-shadow covers me, Alec, and Seth-

The three of us: look behind us to see...-

me: aaaaaah! it's him!

Emmett: who is he? -screams-

Me: it's..it's...Mr Featherkins! -screams and runs around in circles-

-a small cute duckling appears-

everyone but me:-laughs-

Caius, still with pink hair: this is what you're afraid of? -bursts out laughing-

me: i wouldn't laugh at him if i were you

Felix: but you're not you're just a coward

me: ok...as you wish..but don't say i didn't warn ya

Everyone: ok! -play with Mr. Featherkins-

Mr featherkins:-takes out lighter and starts burning everyone but me-

Me: i told you so!

-knock on the door-

everyone that's burning:don't open it!

Me: actuallyithink i will -opens door-

Hayley: hey,Jess!

Me: hi hayley!

Everyone: hayley?

Me: yeah, she's my guest! her name is so cool,you say it twice..HayleyHayley!-smiles-

HayleyHayley: -sees everyone but me burning and a duckling, sweat drops like in anime- um...what's going on?

me: well, Mr. Featherkins, which my friend sent to kill me if i didn't update this Fanfic, is burning all of them!

Hayley: awesome!

Me: I know!

Hayley;i fell bad for them -ducks a bucket of water on them-

everyone: thank you!

Eddy: -reads hayley's mind- oh Alice!

Alice: yes?

Eddy: meet your enemy

Alice: enemy?why?

Eddy: -points to HayleyHayley- she's loves Jazz

Jazz: what?

Eddy: yeah

Alice: noo!

Hayley: -smiles and does a back flip and links arms with Jasper- i Love you, Jazzy -smiles and starts playing with his hair-

Alice: please,stop!

Hayley; no way!

Jazz: killme now!

Mr. Featherkins: okay! -takes out lighter-

jazz: on second thought, i'm too young to die

Alice: ypu're a hundred and five

jazz: ok then, i'm too old to die

Me: Hayley Hayley, you can take Jazzy,he's getting on my nerves

Hayley:ok! -drags Jasper with her-

Me:-sigh- now what?

Jane:i dont know

Me: i know! let's go cliff diving!

Marcus: -bored- you do know that if we go cliff diving we might escape, don't you?

Everyone: marcus!

Marcus: what?i'm just telling her the truth

Me: don't worry guys, we're not going to the cliffs, the cliffs are coming to us

-knock on the door-

Leah: what now?

Gianna: let's find out -opens door-

Random Guy2: delivery for ' Jess the amazing'

Hedi: who's Jess the Amazing?

Demtri; -shrugs-

Me: oh that's me!

Emmett: you're not amzaing

Seth: yes she is! evil authoress, remember?

Random guy2: you're the lady that pissed off my brother?

Me; who's your brother?

RG2: random guy...he was right, you are annoying

Embry: be happyyou don'thave to live with her

RG2:i am!

Mr. Featherkins: how could you say that about her?

Me: OMG! you talk?

Edward: he talked when jasper was being wanted to die

Alice; why'd he want todie?

Emmett: to get to the other side!

everyone: huh?

Mr. Featherkins: -ignoring Emmett- yeah! and i can sing too

Me; that's so awesome!

Eddy: aren't suposed to say ' woow! that's so cool!'?

Me: aw, Eddy-

Edward: it's Edward

Me: whate ever, you're so old-fashioned..cool, was old news...what's new is 'awesome!' -smiles-

RG2: i feel bad for you

Me: why did you come here anyways?

RG2: so i can deliver the cliffs you ordered...

Me; oh..ok..just put them over there -points to an empty space in room-

RG2: ok

everyone: -stare at the cliffs as they are being put in my room-

-after the guys left-

Me: who wants to jump first?

Seth: me!

Me: ok! -pushes Seth from the top of the cliff-

Seth: woohoo!

Me: anyone else?

everyone: -back away slowly-

Mr. Featherkins: can i sing now?

Me: of course you can!

Mr. F: She's got both hands

in her pocket.

And she won't look at you,

Won't look at you

jacob: -tries putting both hands in one pocket- how does she put both of her hands in a pocket?

Me: i don't know..but maybe you can't do it since you're a big freak

Alec: i can't do it either

Me: maybe it's cause you're a wonderful vampire!

Jacob: that's not fair!

Me: yes it is, unless you want to be a wonderful vampire too

Jacob: i wanna be a wonderful werewolf not vampire

Me; take it or leave it

Jacob: fine

Me: -smiles-

Alec: -pushes me-

me: -falls off of cliff- mooooooommy!

Mom: -from downstairs- what?

Me: a vampire just pushed off of a cliff!

Mom: that's nice honey

Me: -still falling- thanks..i guess

Jane: well, that's enough for now

Sam; yeah

Carlisle: please review

Esme: or else she won't continue

Mr. Featherkins; and i'll come and kill you

Seth: hey that rhymes!

everyone but Seth: shu-

Seth: i know, i know, im shutting up

Alec; byeeeeeeee

**sorry if this chapter wasn't as good as the others, i don't know, mymind is suddenly blank, i think i have writer'sblock**

**oh and sorry for the mistakes, i had to install windows to my computer again, and it deleted MS word, i think, and i have no idea how to get it back, so i;m using word pad, and it doesn't say anything aboutmistakes, so yeah**

**bye!**

**and please review :D**


	4. Stupidityand deaths

**Twilight Chaos 4**

Me: I'm baaaaaaack!

Alec: she's baaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

Jane: they're baaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

Edward: ! -mutters- idiots

Jane: -tortures Eddy-

Bella: -cries in horror as she watches Edwrad cry in pain-

Carlisle: Jessie doesn't ooooooooooooooooown Twilight

Esme: she's just borrowing uuuuuuuuus

Me: -bursts into tears-

Everyone: what's wrong Jessie?

Me: nothing..it's just that -sob- Mr. -sob- Fetaherkins -sob- died! -bursts into more tears-

Everyone: what?

Alec: but how?

Me: -points to Seth- he ate him!

Everyone: -look at Seth-

Seth: i didn't mean to! i was getting revenge

Caius: for what?

Seth: cause Jane tortured me! and he's her Best Friend

Jacob: how could you be so cruel?

Jane: -tortures Seth-

: -walks in- now, now everyone..what's the problem?

Jane and Me: -point to Seth- he ate Mr. Featherkins! -cry-

Aro: OMG! -gasp- Jane can cry? awesome

Me: shut up Aro!

Dr. Phil: -to Seth- why'd you eat Mr. Featherkins? how could you be so cruel?

Seth: it was revenge!

Dr. Phil: why? was she using her vampire powers to torture you or something? -sarcastic-

Seth: yes!

Dr. Phil: you need therapy

Me: -kicks Dr. Phil out-

Jane: why'd you do that?

Me: i felt like it

Jane: oh...good point

Me: oh Alec

Alec; yes?

Me: seth put a restraining order against Jane

Alec: what? -glares at seth-

Seth: i didn't mean to!

Me: ya know, Seth, i didn't feed you chocolate only for Josh's sake

Everyone: who's Josh?

Me: my new guest! oh and Hayley Hayley and Isabella are coming!

Caius: Isabella?

Me: yeah, she's CM from a couple of Chaps ago  
Evereyone: oh

-knock on door-

Leah: oh for crying out loud!

Me: why are you crying out loud?

Leah: -confused- i don't know

Me: okay? -opens door-

-Josh, Hayley, Isabella, Chicken, and random hamster walk in-

Everyone: hey!

Hayley: heeeeeeeeeeeeys!

Isabella: hi guys!

Josh: Alice!

Chicken: woof woof

Hamster: yo

Jane; why'd the chicken just bark?

Me: oh Jane..Chicken's not a chicken! he's a dog!

Jane: oh..taht makes sense

Leah: -stares at hamster...suddenly, the world spins around it, hugs hamster-

Jasper: why is that boy looking at my wife like that?

Me: cause he likes her..and i declare them mates!

Alice: what? you can't do that

Me: why not?

Alice: it's against the rules -takes out contratct- see -points to contract- page 3, paragraph 5, line 2 "sign here to agree taht you will not make someone change mates in your story" -points to my signature-

Me: crap!

Josh: aw man!

Me: well, at least you can still see her and Jazz-y and do anything about it! -smiles-

Isabella: i declare Gianna and Felix husband and wife!

Me: yaaaaaaay! congrats

Felix and Gianna: huh?

Isabella: Felix and Gianna, you two are gonna get amrried and have zillions of kids whether you like it or not! so there

Gianna and Felix: oh..ok -smile and ksis eachother-

Bella and Eddy:- suddenly feel the urge and kiss each other-

-so do Josh and Alice, Jacob and Isabella, and Jane and Seth, and Carlsile and Esme, and Athenodora and Caius, and Aro and Sulpicia, and Hayley and Jasper-

Everyone that's not kissing: ewwwwwwwww! -stare in disgust-

Me: get a freakin room already!

Eddy: -while kissing- shut up!

Me: yuck!

-everyone that's kissing get's locked up in a cage and curtain falls over them-

Me: phew!

Alec: i know  
-after half an hour-

Me: -pulling my hair- OMG! i've gone mad! -runs around in circles around Alec-

Alec: what's new?

Me: i don't know!

-everyone stops kssing and gets out of cage-

Me: thank God!

Bella: wow!

Me: -to Jane- how could you do this to me?

Jane: do what?

Me: gross me out like that!

Jane: you didn't ahve to look!

Me: i didn't look! but thinking about it is gross!

Jane: what ever

Me: fine be that way -sticks out tongue- now for the dares

Alec: what dares?

Me: you'll see...now, where is Scruffy?

Seth: who's Scruffy?

Josh: you are! -points to Seth-

Me: now, Seth, don't forget taht i love you, but not as much as Alec, and taht this was all his idea -points to Jsoh- so please don't be amd at me!

Josh: it's time

Alice: that's what i'm supposed to say!

Josh: what ever -takes chocolate out of his pocketa nd sticks it in Seth's mouth-

Seth: -runs around in circles- aaaah! chocolate! i hate chocolate! -spits it out- do you wanna kill me or something?

Aro: actually he just wants to torture you

Seth: ok then

Jacob: -laughs at Seth- maniac

Seth: -running away from Josh and his evil blow torch- i am not a maniac!

Me: -plays with Chicken-

Alec: who's chicken?

Me: my pet dog!

Alec: you called him Chicken?

Josh: -while chasing Seth with his evil blowtorch- that's a stupid ankme for a dog (i hate you Josh! :P)

Me: says the guy with an evil blow torch! -sticks out tongue at Josh-

Josh: Blowtorches are cool, unlike dogs that are called Chicken

Me: shut up!

Alice: -to jasper- how could you kiss someone taht's not me?

Jasper: you did that too!

Alice: i'm a girl! we can do what we want to..but you're a guy, you can't!

Jasper: ?

Emmett: i have a joke!

Leah: let's hear it

Emmett: people say that they think wine has female chromosomes...wanna know why?

Leah: uh..no

Emmett: okay! it's cause when you drink it..you start saying stupid things, and you can't drive!

-guys burst out laughing-

-Girls tackle guys-

Seth: haven't i had enough torture already?

Me: nooooooo!

Renata: pull it together girls!

-rest of girls reluctantyly-: fine

Guys: phew

Caius: i actually thought they were gonna brun us!

Rose: that's a good idea!

Alice: um...Jess?

Me: yes?

Alice: i think Seth killed Chicken

Me: what?

Seth: no i didn't!

Bella: yes you did

Seth: prove it

Edward: i read your mind..why did you do that?

Seth: i was bored?

Me: nice try -takes evil blowtorch from Josh- spill the beans -aims it at Seth-

Seth: fine! Jane made me do it!

Me: what?

Jane: no i didn't!

Seth: yes you did!

Jane: it was fiona!

Me: fiona?

Jane: yes!

Fiona: what are you talking about?

Me: no idea

Leah: -imagines her self in a field full of daisies kissing Hamster-

Hamster: now that's just sick!

Bella: why is my head spinning?

Albus Dombledore, Mccognagall, snape, aro, caius, marcus, carlsile, esme, and edward: -all form groups of three wearing shirts taht say 'save the pineapples'-

Me: i think they're mad

Alec: i agree

-lights go out-

-a girl screams-

Me: -hugs alec- w-w-what's g-going o-on?

Alec: i don't know

-letters appear out of no where saying: the end?-

Seth: -scared- why is there a question amrk after the end?

everyone: -scream-

**i am sooo sorry for being late..seriously! really, Hayley, i tried updating, but no thoughts came to me, i think i have humor block or something**

**sorry guys for such a lame chap!**

**and Jane and Josh...i hate you guys -sticks out tongue-**

**thanks my MC for the letting me steal the idea of someone coming to see the problem betwwen seth and jane... :D**

**and that's it**

**if you don't review...they'll all be doomed i tell you doomed!**

**(yep, i've gone mad)**

**and i have a roleplay so if anyone would like to join taht, or make and appearance, just tell me!**


	5. Kidnapping

**Twilight Chaos 5**

_Last time on twilight chaos_

_'everything went out of control'_

Albus Dombledore: what's going on?

Me: we had a black out

Albus: a black out? my my..what a strange world you muggles live in!

Caius: muggles?

Albus: yes..people with no magic

Caius: we're not muggles we're vampires

Albus: don't lie to yourself, sir...vampires don't sparkle

Me: actually, they are vampires..except for Edward, he's an elf/ Fairy

Albus: oh..ok

Snape: the evil authoress taht also captured us does not own twilgiht or Harry Potter...

Me: snape your awesome!

Snape: huh?

Me: i said you're awesome! but nto as awesoem as Alec..he's the most bestest fictional character ever

Jane: the most bestest? what is wrong with your grammar?

Eddy: yeah it sucks...

Me: i think my own grammar si better than the one they teach at schools

Leah: -hugs hamster close to her- don't worry my love! we will be alright

Marcus: why is the idiot hugging the hamster?

Me: good point

Seth: it's so obvious why

Jane: well, since it's so obvious can you tell us why, mutt?

Josh: she imprinted on him!

Jane: impri-what?

Sam: imprinted...it happens to werewolves when they find their other halves

Alec: her other half's a hamster? cool...i wonder who my other half is

Me: -a pan appears in my hand out of no where and wacks Alec on the head-

Alec: why'd you break the pan?

Me: cause i'm your other half!

Aro: right, right

Me: what?

Aro: you're not even a vampire

Me: not yet...Alec's gonna change me -smiles triumphantly-

Jane: in your dreams

Me: hey Kanata Boy!

Josh: who's Kanata boy?

Me: you are

Josh: it's katana boy

Me: what ever, kanata boy

Josh: -growls- what do you want?

Me: look at Jane

Josh: -looks- aaah!

Jane: -tortures Josh-

Katana boy: what did i aaaaaaaah do?

Me: Jane felt like torturing you..and i would never deny her that freedom

Snape: you guys are idiots

Edward: what's new?

Mccognagoll: -waves her wand and the lights come back on-

Me: amazing

Alec: i know

Hayley: -to Jacob- are you house trained?

Jake: what?

Hayley: it's just that my friend needs a friend for her pet dog

Jake: -growls- do i look like a pet?

Hayley: no, you look like an oversized puppy

Jake: what?

Hayley: i said you look like and over sized puppy!

Jake: i heard you

Hayley: then why did you say what?

Jake: never mind

Hayley: i need some answers mongrel

Jake: for what?

Hayley: why did you say what?

Isabella: don't talk to my Jakey-poo like that!

Jake: jakey-poo?

Isabella: -squirts mustard on Bella-

Edward and Jacob: why'd you do that?

Me: oh come on...Bella deserved it

Bella: what did i do?

Me: you were gonna steal her Jakey-poo form her!

Bella: oh yeah ok

Me: -squirts ketchup on Bella-

Bella: what did i do to you?

Me: well, mustard looks so dull alone...

Bella: oh..ok

Isabella: -disappears-

Gianna: aaaaaaah!

Felix: what's wrong love?

Me: wow, Felix, you sound like Edwrad when you say that

Eddy: he did not!

Me: yes he did!

Felix: my voice is way better

Bella: no way, it's impossible to find anyone that's better than Eddy

Eddy: not you too!

Belal: what?

Edwrad: even my wife's calling me Eddy!

Nessie: -tugs Bella's shirt- i'm better than Daddy, right momma?

Bella: of course sweetie -gives her a lollipop-

Nessie: yuck

Gianna: hello, did you guys forget about me?

Felix: when did you get here?

Gianna: -sigh- what am i going to do with you?

Demetri: how about we set him on fire! -gets out lighter from his pocket-

Gianna: my two year old son has been kidnapped and you don't care!

Me; you have a two-year old son?

Felix: yeah, his name is Antonio

Me: but you got married just days ago!

Gianna: hello, half human child half vampire

Me: but..when..Nessie..and...huh?

Jane: looks at this note -hands me note-

**hello, crazy authoress (that's you), i have kidnapped Gianna and Felix's two year old son, Antonio..! i shall not send him back unless you rick roll Edward mwahahahahhahahahahah!**

**Isabella~**

Me: okay? waht's with the evil laugh?

Jacob: it's way better than yours...

Me: no it's not!

Alec: yeah! Jessie's laugh is the best alugh i've ever heard!

Jane: since when do you like her?

Alec: since she squirted ketshcup on Bella...Ketchup scares me

Me: ok?

Felix: -rick rolls Eddy-

Eddy; no! make it stop

Gianna: where's my baby?

Jane: here's another note

**Dear, crazy authoress, i will never i repeat never bring Antonio back! and yes, i know you rick rolled Edward, i don't care, bye!**

**Isabella**

**P.S. my laugh is waaaaaaay better than yours**

Hayley: okay? im gonna marry Jasper -drags Jasper out of room- bye guys!

Jasper: noooo! Alicey baby! help me!

Alice: noooooo -smiles-

Josh: that's my girl

Me: please don't kiss again! please..im begging here!

Kanata boy: why should i lsiten to you?

Seth: cause she's the evil authoress

Dumbledore: im bored -all three professers disappear-

Me; bored? why the hell is he bored?

Sam: yeah..it's fun to watch you guys torture each other

Jane; yeah i know! -tortures Sam-

Me: -pats Jane's head- good girl

Jane: i know...-tortures Me-

-nothing happens to me and instead Demetri gets tortured-

Demetri: aaaaaaah!

Jane: what the? oh yeah..i forgot, you are the mad authoress...my poor Demetri...

Seth: i thoguht you liked me..

Jane: i only kissed you cause Jessie made me do it -glares at Jessie-

Me; -smiles nervously- bye guys!

Alec: until the next chapter

Caius: review or else...

Me; i'll send my army of gummy bear eating butterflies to destroy you!

Emmett: be careful, those butterflies aren't as cute as they sound

Rose: they don't sound cute

Emmett; oh come on, Rose, haven't you ever dreamed of having gummy bear eating butterflies?

Rose: no...

Jane: and we're out

**thanks guys for all of those reviews, tehy really kept me going :D oh and Hayley and Isabella, don't worry guys, i'll update as soon as possible, it's notlike i'll forget this story...but thanks for the ideas anyways**

**oh and Josh...i. don't. hate. you. anymore. kanat boy...(i had to say that...alec made me do it)**

**Jessie~**

**PS. if anyone wants to join my Roleplay just PM me ok  
**


	6. The Wall OO

**Twilgiht 6**

Jane: hey folks!

Caius: folks? that sounds so original

Jane: huh?

Marcus: use something new like...:how are you doing wonderful amazing people?

Aro: that's nice i'll buy that one

Marcus: you can't buy it! it's mine!

Aro: peace brother

Jane: i fail to understand how they're the masters..

Alec: so do i

*Jane1, Isabella, Hayley, and Josh walk through the door and see a large desk with a chair with wheels that spins behind it, it's back faced towards them*

Hayley: what's going on?

Jane1: like i know...

Isabella: weird...

Josh: yeah

*the chair spins around revealing...*

Me: *in chair* i've been expecting you *raises an eyebrow and folds arms across chest*

Hayley: *clinging onto Isabella* you can have Jacob! it's not like he's useful or anything!

Isabella: and you can have Jazzy! i don't even like him!

Josh: who cares we're all gonna die! *dramatically grabs his head and screams*

Jane1: Cameron i love you!

Seth: Jessie doesn't own Twilgiht

Me: aw Seth! you totally ruined the moment!

Jane1: the moment?

Me: yeah..i always wanted to spin in a chair and say 'i've been expecting you'

Leah: freak

Me: oh well...

*knock on door*

Mr. Rice: *enters* good morning people..i am Mr. Rice

Emmett: who?

Jane1: you heard the man! *grabs Mr. Rice by his shirt collar* where's Cameron? you have three seconds to speak!

Emmett: okay? *grabs Jane 1 and pulls her away from teacher*

: *takes a spider out of his pocket and puts it on Aro's nose* *then hundreds up spiders appear out of no where and swallow him*

Me: creepy..

Aro: *screams* aaaaaah! spider on my nose! spider on my nose! aaaaaaaah!

Caius: *grabs Aro's arm* hold on a second *a crow bar appears in his hand*

Aro: what are you going to do brother?

Caius: *whacks Aro's nose with the crowbar*

crowbar: *gets bent*

Aro: my nose!

Caius: my crowbar!

Me: the poor little spider!

Marcus: you mean you don't care about Caius's crowbar?

Me: of course not!

Alec: poor guy...

Me: *makes a circle of daisies around the dead spider and starts crying* how could you do such a thing? why? what a cruel world!

Alec: *hugs me* (is that even possible?)

Me: so sad

Jane1: it's just a spider...

Josh: are you ok Jane 1? or did you just happen to forget that we're dealing with one of the most craziest people alive?

Jane1: is there a third choice?

Edward: who's Cameron?

Me: *gasp* you don't know who Cameron Bright is?

Eddy: uh no

Jane1: well he's one of the awesomest people in the whole freaking world!  
Me: yeah! i love him!

Alec: i thought you loved me...

Me: he is you

Aro: huh?

Me: Cameron acts as Alec in Twilgiht

Caius: what's Twilgiht?

Me: the book you guys do the disclaimer for...

Marcus: well if it's a book then how do we act in it?

Me: it's a moive too...

Everyone: we're in a moive! cool...

Gianna: *cries* oh Felix! i want my baby!

Felix: and what am i supposed to do?

Gianna: anything!

Me: ignore them

Hayley: ok

Gianna: what a sec..*points to Isabella* it thought you took him!

Isabella: uh..oops! i forgot to take the pie out of the oven! gotta go! *disappears*

Gianna: we're doomed!

Me: *to Jane1* have a gummy bear

Jane1: you shrunk my army?

Seth: you had an army of gummy bears? awesome!

Sam: not you too!

Jane1: yes! and your crazy friend shrunk it

Josh: *burns rose's hair*

Hayley: what'd you do that for?

Josh: i was bored..

Hayley: ok..

Esme: OMG! Emmett your wife's hair is on fire!

Emmett: so?

Edward: let's go get a soda!

Emmett: okay! *walks towards door*

Edward: i didn't mean it! i was being sarcastic..now do something about my sister's hair!

Rose: aaah! *runs around in circles* help me!

Emmett: you mean she's not like Rihanna?

Alice: Rihanna?

Emmett: yeah! you know when she's all like: *sninging voice* just gonna stand there and watch me burn, that's all right because i like the way it hurts

Paul: dude! life is no Nintendo game!

Me: yeah! it's a Wii game

Bella: freakin idiots *ducks bucket of water on Rose's hair*

Rose: thank you! *looks at Emmet* now for you *throws him into the wall*

Wall: hey! what did i do?

Me: OMG! the wall talks!

Jane1: of course it does!

Hayley: yeah it's a super wall

Jasper: *puts ducttape on Hayley's mouth*

Me: why'd you put duck tape on Hayley's mouth?

Jasper: you mean duct tape

Me: no, i mean duck tape

Jasper: what's duck tape?

Me: the thing you put on Hayley's mouth...

Jasper: does it look like a duck?

Me: no..but you do!

Josh: *laughs*

Jasper: *throws Josh into the wall next to Emmett*

Wall: what is wrong with you people and wall abuse!

Me: yeah! first the spider and then the wall..do you guys want to berak my heart?

Josh: don't you even care about the people thrown into the wall?

Emmett: actually, it's quite comfortable

Josh: shut up!

Wall: you're a freak

Josh: no i'm not!

Wall: i was talking about the big guy

Aro: you know we're vampires?

Wall: i never said that..but now that you mentioned it..well of course i do! i've been sitting here listening to you're endless fits..ugh

Aro: we must execute the wall! it knows our secret!

Josh: so does she *points to me*

Me: hey! you know too!

Josh: but i'm gonna marry Alice

Jasper: but she's married to me!

Alice: not anymore! *hugs Josh*

Me: and i'm gonna marry Alec!

Jane2: says who?

Me: me!

Jane1: yeah right!

Me: Alec's mine!

Jane1: no he's not!

Me: yes he is!

Edward: why don't we kill both of you?

Jane1: why me?

Eddy: you know our scret too

Jane1: i'm gonna marry Alec

Alec: fine! ill marry both of you! now shut up!

Me and Jane1: *faint*

Alec: finally some peace and quiet!

Pie: yeah..

Embry: who are you?

Pie: Jessie's amazing pet owl! look at me! i can fly! *flies all around the room and starts pecking at Edward's head*

Emmett: OMG! an owl taht can fly! awesome!

Me: *is conscious* i know! *high fives Emmett*

Edward: leave my head alone!

Wall: dude..your head looks better with an owl on it..

Me: he has a point *high fives wall* ow my hand!

Josh and Alice: bye guys! *walk out of room*

Hayley and Jasper: we're out *storm out of room*

Me: i guess it's just us then

Jane1: yeah..

Quil: i miss Claire

Me: she's a two year old!

Quil: so?

Me: *starts putting amke up on Quil's afce*

Sam: what are you doing?

Me: he liked it when Claire did it

Sam: that's because Calire's his imprint..not a freaky authoress

Me: i;m not a freaky authoress...i'm just a crazy one

Jane2: right right...

Pie: bye for now!

Esme: we'll miss you!

Carlsile: until next chapter!

Jane1: Jessie's gotta give you a break from her randomness

Me: *sadly* bye guys... *waves*

Alec: please review!

Jane2: or else she won't continue

Embry: and she'll live the rest of her life as a miserable poet

**so sorry for not updating sooner! seriously..i was bsuy..please don't kill me guys!**

**i love y'all (except for two and they know who they are..right Kanata boy? nah im just kidding) please review**

**and if anyone would like to join my RP jsut PM**

**Jessie~**

**oh and if anyone knows any good books..please tell me..cause im really bored when im not writing this Fanfic**

**ok ill shut up now XD**

**oh and Josh , comment on Lorena's Demetri status or she'll kill you (that was from Lorena..and don't you dare listen to her! ALEC IS MINE! ALL MINE! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!) **


	7. Toast and OMGing

**Twilgiht Chaos 7**

Me: hey guys!

Jane: what's with the enthusiasm?

Me: i have the right to be happy you know!

Aro: no you don't

Me: yes i do

Aro: you're considering being a vampire right?

Caius: how is she considering? she either becomes a vampire or toast

Me: ooh! i like toast!

Seth: me too! *high fives me*

Embry: seriosuly, can you two get any weirder?

Alec: it's a possibility...

Sam: *randomly says* Jessie doesn't own Twilgiht...Thank God!

Aro: if you become a vampire..i shall be your king...and there's this law against happiness..

Me: but Edward and Bellsie are always happy!

Aro: that's why we've tried hunderds of times to destroy their love...but seriously..i think there's like some sort of wall blocking us..

Me: you only tried two times!

Aro: i can dream can't i?

Me: right...well..once Alec changes me into a vampire...i will rule the vampire kingdom!

Jane: finally someone with a mind!

Sam: you actually think she has a mind?

Jane: no, but at least she isnt some idiot that lived for more than a million years or something

Rosalie: yeah, she's just a regular idiot

Jane: exactly...

Me: so what do you like to eat with toast? Jam or peanut butter?

Seth: i'd say peanut butter...

Me: intersesting

Rose: what's so interesting about that?

Seth: let the genius do her work leech!

Emmett: yeah! they're discussing toast..and that's not a very easy topic

Bella: *sarcastically* yeah it can cause war!

Aro: exactly! you know..that's the main reason why we hate the Romanians

Me: really? awesome...

Alice: that is so stupid

Heidi: no it's not! well yeah it is..but...when you've lived for thosuands of years, you eventually get broed and want to start a war in any way..

Me: true..

Jasper: true? have you had any experience in war Jess?

Me: yeah of course! i've lived for at least a decade! that is so long! i got bored..so now i'm decalring war with my brothers...

Edward: okay?

Jezebella: *walks in* hey guys!

Everyone: hi!

Jezeblla: Alec!

Alec: person!

Jezebella: my name's Jezebella

Alec: ok then...*paints my wall green*

Me: why'd you do that?

Alec: i was bored

Jezebella: *clings onto Alec* i love you!

Me: *pulls Alec from Jezebella* Alec is mine!

Jezebella:* pulls Alec harder* no he's mine!

Me: mine!

Jezebella: mine! *sticks out tongue*

Alec: sorry girl...but i'm already forced to marry two lunatics...

Me: forced? you're the one that said you wanted to marry us!

Alec: so you would shut up!

Me: fine...at least i get to marry you..i don't care if you like it or not

Jezebella: *leaves Alec*

Me: ha!

Jane: evil...

Me: OMG!

Jane: what?

Me: OMG!

Jane: i said what?

Me: OMG!

Alec: this is irratating...

Edward: OMG!

Bella: huh?

Seth: why is evrey one OMGing?

Me: seth!

Seth: what?

Me: OMG!

Seth: i know! *dances under a full moon*

Jane: OMG!

Alec: now what?

Jane: where'd that full moon come from?

Alec: i don't know

Demetri: who cares?

Me: OMG!

everyone: what?

Me: i love toast! *eats some toast*

Seth: hey i want a piece!

Me: what's the magic word?

Seth: OMG!

Me: yep *hands Seth toast*

Fayza: OMG!

Me: i know!

Alec: who are you?

Me: you don't know Fayza?

Alec: no...

Jane: OMG!

Demetri: OMG i know!

Me: well, Fayza happens to be like the only Muslim i know on this site!

Alec: so?

Me: it's nice to know you're not alone!

Heidi: let's get it started yeah!

Me: get what started?

Fayza: the party!

Jezebella: party?

Fayza and Heidi: duh!

Fayza: Santiago!

Me: i didn't know he had fans...

Fayza: he does

Santiago: amazing! i have fans i have fans *dances*

Seth: your dance sucks

Santiago: no it doesn't

Seth: it's not under a full moon, so it sucks...

Jane: yeah! Seth is the best dancer

Seth: i know! *hugs Jane*

Jane: aaaaah! i'm torn between Demetri and Seth *pouts*

Alec: OMG! Jane pouts! since when did you have crushes anyways

Me: OMG! Alec said OMG!

Alec: it's contagious...

Josh: i know...

Me: where'd you come from?

Josh: the whole in your roof

Me: oh..weird..you know..my friend's name is Fayza! you could be her...cool *kisses the wall*

Nessie: creepy..

Quil: you should get used to her you know

Ness: yeah, but she never fails to amaze me

Josh: i like toast!

Me: OMG! now we can start a toast liking club!

Seth: yeah!

Me: *in Josh Seth and My club quietly* did you know that i was a ninja?

Edward: OMG! you are?

Me: how did you get in here?

Edward: i like toast too

Me: but you suck

Caius: yeah, he sucks

Me: what? you like toast too?

Caius: duh! and so do Aro, Demetri, Carlsile, Esme, Heidi, Felix, Santiago, Jared, Sam, everyone in this story

*everyone in story tries to fit in the club*

Jaocb: why is this club so small?

Me: cause its under the tent i made out of blankets...

Jacob: well this sucks!

Me: so do you...

Jacob: i thought you loved me

Me: well i did..before you became an 'i love Bella and without her i'm gonna die! and edward should die cause Bella is mine..i love Bella so much, so since she's not gonna be with me i'm on stupidly imprint on her daughter' maniac

Jacob: i never said that..

Me: but you were feeling it

Jacob: hey! i didn't want to imprint on Nessie, i wanted to kill her!

Me: *dramatically* there is no love as strong as hate

Fayza: what?

Seth: let the genius do her work human!

Me: i love you Seth!

Alec: i thought you loved me!

Me: of course i love you! but i also love Seth, though not as much as you

Alec: yay!

Josh: that's my line

Alec: when did you come here?

Josh: a couple of minutes ago...

Alec: oh yeah..you're the maniac that fell out of the roof!

Josh: hey! i'm not a maniac!

Me: yeah! he's not a maniac..

Josh: you're siding with me, against Alec? that's new...

Me: i'm not siding..i'm telling the truth...you're just insane..but not a maniac

Jane: yeah there's a big difference between the two

Bella: *starts singing* I want to reconcile the violence in your heart  
I want to recognize your beauty is not just a mask  
I want to exorcise the demons from your past  
I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart  
Demetri: Muse rocks!

Edward: O.O

Me: Bellsie, your voice sucks

Bellsie: she's crazy like a fool, what about Daddy Cool

Me; stop singing!

Bella: i'm your biggest fan, i'll follow you until you love me, papa paparazzi

Me: hey that sounds like Eddy, he's always stalking Bella

Eddy: i do not stalk Bella

Me: well, not anymore, but you used to when she was human, now you two are stuck together as if someone glued you

Bella: life's what you make it so let's make it right!

Me: no! please, not Hannah Montana!

Bella: let me show you what you're missing, Paradise, with me you're winning girl, you don't have to roll the dice, what are you really here for? them other guys..i can see right thorugh, you seem like the type, to love em then leave em and disappear right after this song, so give me the night, to show you hold you, don't leave me out here danicng !

Me: actually, the girl in the video looked like she was the one that was gonna hold him, not the opposite

Eddy: who's he?

Me: Justin Bieber...why doesn't someone just beat him up?

Jane and Heidi: good idea!

Me: i know! now back to the toast discussion

Seth: we were having a toast discussion? awesome!

Gianna: *sarcastically* yeah i know! i never noticed

Embry: don't make fun of him!

Me: yeah! he's a teddy ebar!

everyone: teddy bear?

Me: he's so cute!

Eddy: right...

Me: shut up! you idiot!  
Edward: *dramatically* as if you can outrun me! as if you can beat me in a fight! (i don't remember his exact words)

Undertaker: *also dramatically* you! *points to Eddy*

Eddy: my name isn't Eddy!

Undertaker: YOU THINK YOU CAN BEAT ME? WHAT..JUST BECAUSE OF YOUR SO CALLED GOOD LOOKS? WELL I'LL SHOW YOU! NO ONE CAN BEAT THE UNDERTAKER! ESPACIALLY NOT SOME INSANE DUDE THAT THINKS HE'S A VAMPIRE!

Edward: i'm not afraid of you!

Undertaker *throws Edward into a wall*

Venus flytrap: *eats edward*

Me: cool...

Alec: i know

Me: OMG! a note!

**Creepy authoress person (that's still you) i shall give Gianna and Felix they're baby back! he's in the box that's with this note! asta la vista**

**IsabellaXX**

Me: Opens the box to see some bubble wrap* she put him in bubble wrap? *peels off the bubble wrap*

Heidi: hey! that's not Antonio! that's Fish!

Carlisle: fish?

Me: yeah! the five year old boy that Alec gave to Heidi!

Carlsile: oh...how sweet

Gianna: *punches Felix and breaks her hand* i want my baby!

Me: wait a sec...there's another box! *opens it and sees Antonio*

Gianna: my baby!

Me: *hugs Alec*

Alec: what are you doing?

Me: i couldn't think of ideas

Alec: oh, well that makes sense *hugs abck*

Me: what are _you_ doing?

Alec: couldn't think of anything either

Bella: behind every happy ending...is a guy being eaten by a venus flytrap  
Eddy: heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp!

Rose: freak

Esme: buh-bye for now darlings! *blows a kiss*

Ness: please review

Jasper: or the venus fly trap shall eat you

Alice: i want a pet

Caius: okay?

**That's all folks! thanks for all of your reviews! i love you all!**

**i hope you're happy Josh..the plant ate Eddy... :P and sorry for adding you without asking...you did that to me..and you were right..Lorena did that too! humph! oh well i don't care**

**i do not own any of the songs used, Undertaker is a wrestler, my bros watch him wrestle alot..he's practically their idol..i flet like including him..i don't own him either though**

**and i'm out! **

**if anyone would like to make an appearance just tell me!**

**The one, The only, The great**

**Jessie~  
**


	8. Punch? Faceplaming? excuse me?

**Twilight Chaos 8**

Alice: oh God!

Jasper: i know!

Bella: it's horrible

Edward: so sad

Alec: what a cruel world

Emmett: even worse than gummy bears

Esme: *sobs*

Cralsile: *hugs Esme* it'll be alright

Jane: i don't belive it

Demetri: it's so unreal

Seth: Terrible

Sam: just wrong

Me: why is every one acting emoish-y today?

Brady: *randomly* Jessie doesn't own Twilight

Caius: be quiet

Aro: yeah we're in grief right now

Gianna: mourning isn't as fun as you think it is

Me: mourning? who died?

Nessie: i don't know, but they're all crying..thought i'd cry with them...

Embry: *cries*

Me: okay? *sits at a corner trying to figure out what's going on* hmm...who could possibly die right now?

everyone: *look at me*

Eddy: you horrible person!

Bells: how could you?

Alec: i thought you were kind hearted!

Jacob: not even Aro would do something like that!

Aro: *randomly drinks someone's blood*

Me: *looking at Aro* creepy.. *looking at the others* what did i do?

Ron Weasley: bloody hell!

Me: huh?

Ron: well it's just that, whenever i say bloody hell, something bad happens *poofs away*

Me: okay?

Quil: *brings out Claire covered in blood*

Me: aaaaaaaaaaah! how horrible! how could you do that to your imprint Quil?

Quil: *shows me a knife hanging from Claire's stomache with the words: property of Jessie*

Me: *gasps* nooo..wait a sec..when did you kill her? and where did you get that knife from?

Quil: you killed her!

Me: when?

Quil: i don't know! but you did! and i shall avenge her!

Me: okay?

Nessie: *jumps behind me* happy April fools!

Claire: *laughs and takes out the knife from the tape that glued it to her side*

Me: *laughs hysterically even though that wasn't funny* oh yeah! i forgot we were in *looks at the calender than frowns* September?

Nessie: well every one cleebrates April Fools in Sepetmeber!

Me: really? since when?

Ness: since George Washington became the president of the United States!

Me:oh...that makes sense

Alec: *face palms himself*

Me:OMG!

Alec: now what?

Me: you're acting as if i keep saying that all the time

Alec: that's cause you do

Me: wow! i'm awseome!

Seth: yeah!

Chelsea: *sarcastically* who wants to join the "Jessie's amazing fanclub?"

Me: oh oh! *jumping up and down* pick me! i want to join! wait a sec...who's Jessie?

Heidi: *also face palms herself*

Me: you okay Heidi? that didn't look like a smart move...

Aro: did you bump your head on something girl?

Me: uh..no..why?

Caius: cause you are the passage to my broken heart!

Eddy: huh?

Caius: isn't that a pick up line?

Me: no...that's just stupidity

Caius: it fits with you

Me: what? oh shut up Caius

Caius: i want a bone!

Me: huh?

Caius: you gave Seth a bone and not me!

Me: okay? *gives Caius a bone*

Caius: YAY! bone bone bone..you're gonna be my mate, and i'm gonna call you Pineapple life saver!

Athenodora: you idiot! you're gonna leave me for a bone?

Aro: bones are so cool..you're so last millenia

Sulpicia: i am so last melenia too

Aro: well, i already have a girlfriend you know

Sulpicia: what the hell?

Aro: yeah, she's a steak, her name is Evil Kat, with a K

Sulpicia: why'd i marry him?

Heidi: cause you have nothing better to do

Me: of course she does! she can stalk Cameron Bright with me!

Edward: *face palms himself*

Emmett:*face palms himself for the fun of it*

Me: what is it with you guys and face palming?

Eddy: you are so stupid

Me: i know..now answer my question!

Alec: ignore her

Emmett: punch! *looks at some punch that suddenly appeared on a table that also suddenly appeared*

Me: be careful

Em: why?

Me: it might be spiked

Emmett: spiked?

Me: yeah! it's a new word i learned! it means that someone put something in the punch! at least i think it does...

Emmett: you mean like money? cool!

Me: *drags Emmett away from the punch* no! i mean like something that's gonna make you hyper! and you have enough money laready, Eddy's pockets are full of it!

Eddy: *looks at his full pockets* no their not

Me: hah! you're not the only mind reader here!

Eddy: Aro is too

Me: so am i! i made this story, i control you, and i read your minds!

Bella: i believe i can fly!

Me: of course you do..you also belive that Edwrad is 'awseome'

Rosalie: *laughs*

Wall: *throws toamtoes at Rose*

Rose: *punches wall*

Wall: *glares at Rose*

Rose: *gets scared and hides behind Alec*

Me: OMG! i have split ends!

Sam: *face plams himself*

Me: that's getting really annoying *looks at Rose* hey! get away from Alec!

Bella: sometimes your knight in shining armor is just a dork in some foil

Me: *glances at Alec then at Bella as if she's crazy* *sarcastically* yeah, and sometimes Edwrad's presense doesn't make me want to puke

Blaire: weird

Me: hi!

Sam: who is she?

Me: she's Blaire! my new guest!

Eddy: hello fellow human-

Me: you're saying that as if you're human

Emmett: yeah dude! you're a vamp!

Me: no he's a fairy! it thought we got that straight!

Blaire: okay? *looks at Sam* hmmm *punches him*

Sam: hey! *holds the spot she punched* i thought you were supposed to break your fist!

Seth: it's Jessie the great's sory you know!

Jane: she isn't great

Claire: yes she is!

Me: thank you Claire..and Jane..you shouldn't say that to your sister in law!

Alec: does Jane have a brother i don't know of?

Me: *growls and breaks Edwrad's paino*

Alice: how'd that get here?

Me: *shrugs and continues beraking it*

Eddy: what did i do to you?

Bella: now he can't play me my lullaby!

Me: you don't need to sleep

Bella: still!

Me: oh well *takes out wand* abra kadabra! *light comes out of the wand and truns Jasper into a coconut*

HarryPotter: hey! that's not a spell!

Alec: why do people from Harry Potter randomly appear here?

Jane: no idea

Me: it's Harry Potter! aaaaaaaaaaah!

HP:huh?

Me: you rock! but not as much as Alec

HP: okay then... *disappears*

Demetri: weird

Fish: i know

Blaire: let's play a game!

Alice: how about truth or dare? *jumps up and down clapping at her idea*

Jazzy: *turns back into a vampire* okay! Jessie, truth or dare?

Me: dare

Jazzy: jump on one foot through the rest of the chapter, and when ever some one says "pie" say "i'm an idiot" okay?

Me: ok *starts jumping on one foot*

Eddy: this is gonna be fun! pie

Me: Jasper's an idiot

Jasper: you're supposed to say 'i am an idiot'

Me: i just did

Jasper: *face palms himself*

Emmett: *laughs*

Rose: *rolls her eyes* Alec, truth or dare?

Alec: dare

Rose: kiss Jessie

Alec: truth?

Me: you heard her!

Blaire: yeah do the dare!

Nessie and Claire: do the dare, do the dare!

Alec: Jane?

Jane: no way! i am not kissing her!

Alec: *sweatdrops* i wanted you to help me, not kiss her

Jane: oh *tortures Rose*

Rose: *in pain* fine!

Jane: *doesn't stop torturing Rose*

Alice: *puts a mirror in front of Jane*

Jane: *screams*

Me: *rolls eyes*

Demetri: Edward, truth or dare?

Edwrad: truth

Demetri: coward...ok...if Bella was in a burning building-

Edward: Bella's in a burning building? nooooooooo! not my love! i shall provoke the-

Bella: *taps on Edward's shoulder* i'm here Edward

Edwrad: ok then..please continue

Demetri: freak *shakes head* ok, if Bella was in a burning building and Jessie was in another..who would you save?

Edward: Bella

Bella: duh

Me: you would kill me?

Edward: techinally, the fire would kill you

Me: Bella's a vampire! she can save herself!

Edwrad: fire bruns vampires

Me: *pouts* oh well, I'd want Alec to save me anyways

Alec: what makes you so sure that I'd save you?

Blaire: if you don't, you will be trapped here for ever! mwahahahhahaha!

Me: my evil laugh is better! mwahahhahahahahahahahahahah!

Aro: no! mine's the best! -

Edward: we get it!

Seth: i still like toast!

Me: me too! and Hayley wants to join the club!

Heidi: back to the game, Alice, who's better? Jasper or shopping?

Alice: shopping?

Jasper: my wife doesn't love me *falls into depression*

Alice: oh of course i love you Jazzy! i just love shopping more, shopping's always there for me, but you aren't *a look of sympathy's on her face*

Jazz: *still in depression* *sigh*

Alice: oh sweetie

Jazz: *falls to the floor*

Alice: *sobs* i can't stand watching you in pain!

Bella: hey that's my line!

Alice: and he's my Jasper!

Gianna: too much drama!

Antonio: mama

Gianna: he said my name! *faints*

Me: weird

Edward: yeah

Kaitlyn: Edward!

Edward: Kaitlyn!

Bella: excuse me?

Me: she's Edward's new mate

Bella: excuse me?

Emmett: she just said that she's Edwrad's new mate...

Bella: excuse me?

Blaire: cut that out already!

Edward: finally someone that loves me and only me! *hugs Kaitlyn*

Bella: excuse me?

Me: shut up Bella! grr...

Jacob: rawr

Alec: chirp

Me: meow

Jacob: woof woof

Alec: eeh uh

Me: huh?

Alec: it's a donkey sound

Me: oh

Jacob: it fits you

Me: *throws Jacob into a wall*

Alec: where'd you get all that strength?

Seth: she's the authoress remember? people! do i have to keep reminding you?

me: the mutt has a point...it's been eight chapters and you still didn't find out how i do all this cool stuff

Edward: it's not cool..but Kaitlyn is

Kaitlyn: *sighs happily*

Bella: excuse me? *annoyed*

Kaitlyn: i love you Edward!

Edward: i love you too!

Belal: excuse me?

Demetri: *holds a lighter next to Bella's hair* if you don't shut up...

Bella: excuse me?

Demetri: *lights Bella's hair on fire*

Bella: aaaaaaah!

Edward: shut up stupid girl! *kisses Kaitlyn*

Me: wow..how come you don't kiss me Alec? *pouts*

Alec: no comment

Rose: stupid tomatoes..stupid wall

Emmett: aw, come on Rosie..you look beautiful no matter what's on you!

Rose: really?

Em: yep

Rose: *kisses Emmett*

Emmett: *kisses back fursiously*

Alec: *covers my eyes* you guys are ruining her child hood innocnce!

Me: aw, he's worried about my innocence! how sweet!

Edward: *stops kissing Kaitlyn and puts his arm around her waist instead* you think she's innocent?

Alec: well, yeah

Jasper, Emmet, and Aro: *burst out laughing*

Aro: how stupid!

Emmett: she kidnapepd us!

Jasper: she's a lunatic..you even said so yourself

Me: *uses magic powers and sends the three of them flying into the wall*

Alec: *laughs and takes his hands away*

Alice: my Jazzy!

Wall: grr..you abuse me too much

Me: shut up wall!

Wall: *stares at me*

Me: *looks away*

Wall: *continues staring*

Me: *continues looking away*

Wall: *stares even more*

Me: *starts getting nervous*

wall: *stares even harder*

Alice: leave her alone already!

Wall: grr

Alice: what happened to the contract?

Me: what contract? *refuses to look at the wall*

Alice: the one that said you can't change people's mates?

Me: edward likes Kaitlyn

Bella: excuse me?

Rose: *drops a bucket of water on Bella's head* the fire ruined your hair

Bella: *her head in the bucket* excuse me?

Me: *puts duck tape on Bella's mouth* duck tape should do the trick

Jasper: for the last time..it's duct tape!

Me: what ever, duck

Blaire: hmm..

Me: what?

Blaire: aren't we gonna finish the game?

Me: oh yeah!

Jane: why didn't she forget?

Me: Seth, truth or dare?

Seth: truth

Me: do you like Jane

Seth: um...uh..well...

Me: omg! he likes Jane! good boy! *gives Seth a katana*

Seth: cool

Jane: how come he gets a katana?

Me: cause he's cool

Jane: so am I

Me: I know

Jane: don't i get a katana?

Me: nope

Jane: but why?

Me: he was a good boy...that's why he got a katana

Jane: but i was on my best behavior!

Me: but you're not a good boy

Jane: yes i am!

Me: you're a boy? shocking

Carlisle: *face palms himslef*

Me: not you too!

Alec: *sighs* that's enough for now guys

Esme: yep..until next chappie

Me and Nessie: happy April fools!

Edward: it's september!

Me: well duh!

Demetri: *puts duct tape on my mouth*

Me: *sighs*

Sam: bye fellow readers

Felix: if you guys don't review..Jessie will send her evil army of exclamation marks to get you! mwahahahahahahahahah

!

Edward: that thing above was the army...

**yes! i finally updated! oh yeah..uh-huh! i rock! not really...but anyways...i would like to thank all of the anonymous reviewers and all...you get it:**

**Isabella: thank you so much for reviews, I loved your ideas :D especially Jerry and the funeral and the audience :D but when you sent the reviews I was already done with most of the chapter..I'll use them for you next chapter ok**

**Blaire: no, Blaire, you're awesome ^.^**

**Hayley: hehe..thanks :D**

**Fayza: you're welcome ^.^**

**and that's about it **

**i hoped you enjoyed this chapter..until next time**

**Jessie...the evil authoress~**


	9. Soap

**Twilight Chaos 9**

Nessie: *smiles angelically* hello

Claire: hi *waves sweetly*

Claire and Nessie: meet our Chain saw! *get a chain saw out of nowhere and start running around with it and then they bump into a wall*

Wall: grr...stupid people...

Me: *still has ducttape on my mouth, sighs*

Demetri: *laughs at me* haha! i'll never take it off! never! you aren't the evilest person here *sticks out tongue*

Alec: *pulls tape off of my mouth*

Me: ouch! hey that hurt! *punches Jasper*

Jasper: hey! he's the one that took it off!

Me: i would never punch Alec!

Jane: Jessie still doesn't own Twilight

Gabi: weird peoples

Edward: another guest? doesn't it ever end?

Me: nope..hey Gabi

Gabi: hi

Jacob: kill me now

Gabi: *gets out a blow torch and starts chasing Jacob with it*

Me: *fixes the hole in the roof with bubble gum*

Josh: my blow torch is better than yours! *points at Gabi*

Me: how did you get in here? i just closed the roof!

Josh: through the door

Me: grr..get out!

Josh: never! *stabs edward with a katana*

Me: hey! where did you get the katana from?

Gabi: who cares? blow torches are cool!

Josh: be quiet human!

Gabi: *points blow torch at Josh*

Me: *points to door* out

Josh: *points to door* out

Me: ok *walks out sadly*

Edward: did you just kick her out of her own bedroom?

Bella: i think he just did

Eddy: bella! *hugs Bella* i missed you!

Bella: what?

Eddy: i said i missed you, my only reason for existince

Bella: i thought you love Kaitlyn!

Edward: i do!

Bella: so...

Edward: i love both of you!

Bella: freak..i don't like players

Me: *walks in* did you just kick me out of my room?

Josh: uh-huh

Me: *kicks Josh out of the room*

Natasha and Carma: *enter room*

Edward: two other guests?

Me: nope, only one guest, her name's Natasha, the other one is an OC named Carma

Everyone: hello Natasha and Carma

Gabi: meet my blowtorch!

Carma: hello blowtorch!

Natahsa: *to Carma* you're weird

Carma: i know! *sees Caius* awesome hair white haired dude!

Caius: thank you smelly little person

Carma: hey! just cause i turn into a dog doesn't mean you can call me that!

Caius: yes it does

Carma: grr! *cuts Caius's hair and makes it an afro*

Me: awesome!

Isabella: i know!

Alice: where did you come from?

Isabella: the door

Alice: the door has a wormhole stuck to it? noo! *plugs the door with bubble gum*

Isabella: ok? sup Jessie?

Alice: if you want to know..look at the ceiling!

Me: *looks up at the ceiling* noooooooo! the aliens are attacking! help me! *runs around in cirlces*

Aro: *to alec* now you think she's innocent?

Alec: what does insanity have to do with innocence?

Emmett: dude! she's the reason the aliens are attacking us!

Esme: son! you're mental too! how horrible!

Carlisle: our family has lost it! *starts drinking pineapple juice*

Esme: not you too!

Rose: *plays chess with the wall*

Esme: nooooo!

Eddy: Bella, will you marry me?

Bella: nope

Esme: I'm dying!

Alice: the aliens!

Jasper: move over Rosalie! i wanna defeat the wall!

Esme: i'm scared!

Brady: this is like some sort of soap opera

Me: *stops running* soap opera? *gets a blue bar of soap out of her pocket and a pink one out of her other pocket*

Felix: you keep bars of soap in your pockets?

Jane: weird...

Me: *ingores the comments* oh bars of soap! did you know that the humans and vampires and werewolves have stolen your idea!

Pink bar of soap: ...

Me: you don't care?

Blue bar of soap: ...

Me: but-

BBOS: ...

Me: it's your idea!

PBOS:...

Me: you are too modest

Jake: she's talking to inanimate objects

Gabi: I know my wonderful blowtorch! we must destory Jacob Black! *runs after Jacob Black*

Jacob: what is with girls these days?

Leah: oh my wondreful hamster! *starts hugigng her imprint*

Hamster: *squeaks*

Leah: what? you have braces? so what? braces are cool darling!

Edward: there is something i have to tell you Bella

Bella; you're in love with Kaitlyn..i know

Edward: nope..i am a girl

Bella: *gasps*

Jane: *to alec* Alec, i have disapointing news

Alec: you ate my pie?

Jane: no, well actually yes, but this is worse

Alec: how could you! my poor pie!

Jane: Alec, i am your sister

Alec: what? nooooooooooo! *falls to his knees*

Me: *to BBOS* these people are mad!

BBOS: ...

Seth: wow, this really is like a soap opera

Me: this soap opera is sponsored by Soap!

Seth: ok then! thank you soap for making this soap opera!

PBOS and BBOS: ...

Seth: wow! you have inspired me with your enchanting words!

PBOS: ...

Jake: *still running* you guys are talking to inanimated objects!

Natasha: so? Bella used to talk to magnets

Eddy: what? the horror! i shall kill myself! *falls down to the floor*

Bella: guys, are like slinkies, useless, but fun to watch falling down the stairs *kicks Eddy and he falls down the stairs*

Me: OMG! where did those stairs come from?

RG3: i delivered them!

Eddy: *falling down the stairs* weeee!

Me: who are you?

RG3: random guy 3

Me: grr..aren't two enough?

RG2 and RG: *come in* nope!

All three of the Random Guys: we shall have a random Revolution! *put hands on their hips and start singing Brittany Spear's song: Break the Ice*

Me: you guys are freaks...

Jerry: yo peoples

Jake: who are you?

Me and Isabella: Jerry!

Jerry: Jessie and Isabella! it's so good to see you!

Isabella: i know!

Jake: who's he?

Me: that's Jerry!

Jane: who's Jerry?

Isabella: our friend!

Alec: ok...

Me: Isabella made him up!

Josh: awesome!

Alice: i thought i plugged the worm hole!

Josh: you love me remember?

Alice: you could be someone undercover...

Josh: nope, im just Josh

Me: *burns Josh's hair, and then throws him at the audience*

Josh: what was that for?

Auidence: *start rubbing their heads cause Josh landed on them* yeah, what was that for?

Me: it's revenge..

Josh: revenge?

Me: you're annoying..you deserved it...by the way, your hair is still on fire

Esme: poor thing! *throws Josh down the stairs and he ends up in a a river with evil Pirahnas*

Me: *laughs*

Isabella: so Jerry, what would you like to do?

Jerry: *jumps down the stairs*

Isabella: ok then...*jumps after him*

Everyone: *goes down the stairs and end up in a field of daisies*

Alice: pretty flowers!

Heidi: ugh..you're such a ltitle girl *sees a butterfly* pretty butterfly! *starts chasing it*

Bella: *to Eddy* so..what's this about you being a girl?

Eddy: *pulls his face and it reveals Emily*

Sam: Emily? *sees the scars on her face* no! the beautiful face i have ruined! *falls to the floor in agony*

Bella: so all this time i was kissing a girl?

Emily: sorry...the aliens made me do it

Alice: the aliens? nooooo!

Bella: well, that's a relief!

Emily: huh?

Bella: *pulls her face away and it reveals Aro*

Me: Aro?

Seth: now it's a soap opera for spies! Awesome!

Aro: *stares at Bella that happens to be Aro in awe*

The Bella Aro: yes..I am Aro..and now i shall drink your blood human!

Emily: wait! *pulls her face away revealing Bella* it's me! Bella!

Bella Aro: Bella?

Bella that's Emily at the same time and..well you get it: yep

Aro: *removes a mask from his face* It's me Edwrad!

Edward and Bella: *kiss*

Caius: *starts dancing to Untouched by the Veronicas and wears clothes from the eighties*

Everyone else: O.o

Alec: I think we've suffered enough for now

Jane: i agree

Me: *gives Jane a katana* you've been a good girl

Jane: yes!

Me: ok..now please review peoples!

Jerry: or she'll hunt you down!

Josh. that's covered up in pirahna bites: and tell the aliens to kill you!

Me: get outta here Josh!

Alice: the aliens! *runs aimlessly and bumps into the wall*

Me: anwyays...Jerry and the Audience were Isabella's ideas..so say good job Isabella!

Everyone: good job Isabella!

Me: good kids *smiles*

Natasha: byeeeeeeees!

**Ok! That's it for now! I hoped you liked this chapter! sorry Josh, i had to use you, there's no other way to get revenge for what you did...anyways..thanks Natasha for your review..and of course thanks everyone too!**

**i love all of you**

**Jessie~**


	10. Family renunion and Death Note

**Twilight chaos 10**

**Ok..peoples..my evil aunt Nour, some peoples here know her, is helping me write this chap..so she gets half of the credit...ok..im done..on with the chapter!**

Nour: hi mental people of the world!

Aro: who the hell are you?

Me: she's your night guard!

Jane: our what?

Me; night guard! cause i started school, and while i'm at school there will be no one to watch you...you guys might hurt yourselves while you're alone *smiles innocnetly*

Jasper: doesn't she have work?

Me; she does..but while she's at work..my great grandmother Nada will take care of you

everyone : O.o

Nour: I'm jessie's favorite evil aunt

Me: you're my only aunt!

Nour: Demetri...

Demetri: *puts tape on my mouth*

Nour: good boy *gives him a bone*

Demetri: okay? thanks..i think...

Caius: my bone is better than yours!

Demetri: go die in a hole master

Caius: ok *starts digigng a hole*

Nour: you're welcome...ok..now let me introduce my self..I am Jessie's 'evil' and 'only' aunt...and i'll keep watch on you...hopefully everything will go smoothly, but only if you're good kids...oh and by the way..I'm not as sick and mental as she is...I am the wise one *smirks evilly*

Seth: *screams* The evil authoress's evil aunt has come! why must everything happen to me?

Leah: it's happening to us too...

Jack Sparrow: *walks casually in* hello Nour *winks*

everyone: *wonder how the hell he got in here*

Eddy: who are you?

Jack: I, strange dude, am the great..Jack Sparrow!

Me: evil pirate! *chases him with a flame thrower*

Demetri: where's the tape?

Me: Mimi took it off (he likes me! cause im an adorable lil angel XD)

Alec: who the hell is Mimi? *is jealous*

Me: he's my aunt's fiance (love of her life, her everything, her world, this list could go on and on and on...)

Alice: but how'd he get here?

Mimi: through the door...

Alice: strange...

Carlisle: *shakes his head* nice to meet you Mimi...

Nessie: is your name really Mimi?

Mimi: uh..no..Jessie calls me that..no idea why..she just does...

Nour: Mimi!

Mimi; *looks at jack and growls*

Jack: what?

Mimi; leave my fiance alone and stop stalking her!

Jack; i can't help myself! *looks like he's in love*

Mimi: *calls someone*

Me: evil pirate? stalking my aunt? how come no one stalks me? life is so unfair!

Gabi: ya i know!

Alice; you came through the door too?

Gabi: *nods*

Alice: strange...i must research! *stares at the door*

Door: staring is rude lady...

Alice: *faints*

Me; OMG! a vamp just fainted! awesome!

*knock on the door*

Me; if that's random guy 4...i'll kill Jasper!

Jasper: why is it always me?

Me: cause i'm an adorable lil angel *smiles*

Jane: liar!

Me: *thinks of an insult*

Jane:...

Me: *still thinking*

Alec;...

Me: *is thinking furiously*

Esme: what's wrong?

Me; school ruined my brain! I can't think of an insult!

Alec and Jane and Esme: *gasp*

Nour: *sighs* as if it wasnt' already ruined...

Eddy: *opens the door*

*an army of ninjas walks in*

Jack: ninjas? *girly screams*

Mimi: yes..the enemies of the pirates! *smiles evilly*

Me and Lorena (which is Jane 1..but typing Jane1 and Jane 2 is conufisng me..so i'll just use her real name): Ninjas!

Nour: pirates are better than ninjas!

Mimi: that is true..well..except for that Jack dude..he sucks

Jane: yay! i am the one and only Jane again!

Seth: Jane! dear! there is a crisis! and all you care about is your name?

Jane:*stares at seth in shock*

Seth: OMG! i just called Jane dear!

Everyone: *stares in shock*

Me: It's not like i meant it or anything .. it just confused me .. but you'll always be Jane2 no matter what *smiles evilly* mwahahahahaaaa, isnt my evil laush better than Josh's?

Alec: ya ya..what ever makes you sleep at night...

Nour: Jessie! dear! Isn't it already ur bed time? you have school tomorrow in the early morning!or do i have to call ur mommy?

Everyone: "mommy" hahahahahaaaaaa XD

Me: it's 5:00 pm...

Nour: it is? weird...

Jack: don't worry Nour..i'm staying here with you no matter how many Ninjas come here *looks in love*

Nour: o.O but i still think u r awesome.

Mimi: *runs to Jack & starts to punch him in the face*

Carlisle: c'mon guys..don't fight..you can share.

Mimi: *starts to punch Carlisle too*

Me: i'm having the best time of my life *smiles really widely*

Nada (i'm too lazy to keep writing ' great grandma nada'): *starts break dancing*

Emmett: cool! *break dances with her*

Rose: *looks at the wall* do you think they're crazy too?

Wall: yep...

Me: *sings* aslaha btefre2 men wahda lewahda..fe wahda betensaha bewahda..wa wahda, !

Alec: my ears!

Me: i love my singing too!

Eddy: you call this singing?

Me: nope...i call it art..but only awesome peoples like me will understand it

Eddy: um..I'm not gonna comment...but i have a question...

Me; no one'es stopping you...

Eddy: what did you just say?

Me; i sang this stupid song that this dude i hate sings..it's in arabic...

Eddy; i didn't understand a thing..

Me: i didn't expect you to...well..maybe i did..i mean...you're like so smart and that stuff...it's like..very annoying...

Eddy: hey! when you don't sleep you have lots of free time! i have nothing better to do!

Me; *starts to say something*

Eddy: *interupts her* no, Jess, Cameron Bright didn't exist then..

Me; *acts confused* what does he have to do with this?

Eddy: i know that you're gonna say *copies my voice perfectly* 'you could've stalked cameron bright!'

Me: grr

Nour: Jessie...there's a dog here! *stares at a dog that suddenly appeared*

Me; shut up woman! I'm fighting with the idiot!

Black Scary Dog: *woof woof*

Jasper: hey boy! where'd you come from?

Dog: *bites off jazzy's hand*

Jazzy: *screams*

Nour; *backs away* ok then...*stares at Jack*

Mimi: *stares at the army of ninjas that isn't killing Jack*

Army of ninjas; *play hide and seek*

Mimi: O.o

Jack: *has a swollen face cause Mimi punched him*

Gabi: weird family...*starts singing Ignorance by Paramore*

Caius: see! now that's a wonderful voice!

Me: yep..it's art too!

Alec: this art is different than your 'art'... this art...people that aren't mental..can undertsand...

Me: you're just jelaous...

Alec: jealous?

Me: uh-huh...

alec: why?

Me; no reason..i just felt like saying that...

Nada: *stops break dancing* you guys are really boring...I'm not wacthing over you...I'm going to a night club..where peoples appreciate me...emmett, you are free to join me *winks*

Emmett: awesome!

Rose; *breaks a plate on his head*

Emmett: come on! it's just break dancing!

Rose; my monkey man is staying here!

Emmett: *is scared* ok...

Me: everyone sit in a circle! *sits on the floor*

Everyone; *join me*

Mimi: *sits beside Nour*

Jack; *sits beside Nour on the other side*

Everyone else; *stay as far as they can from me*

Me; now..since we'll be together for a long time...

Eddy: aka: for ever

Me: shut up or else i'll give you cheese!

Eddy: ok! *shuts up*

Alec: cheese?

Lorena: cheese is bad for the soul!

Alec: awesome!

Me; *coughs to get attention* we must share our lives!

Jasper: what the hell?

Me: *gives Jasper a pie* this, is the talking pie-

jasper: don't tell me this can talk too!

Me: of course it can't! it's a pie!

Pie: yo

Alice: *faints again*

Lorena: did she even wake up?

Me: no...

Lorena: creepy *hugs alec*

Me; *tries not to kill Jasper when she sees lorena hugging alec*

Emmett: someone say something!

Me:oh yeah! ok..so..who ever has this pie..gets to talk and share something..understand?

Everyone; yes

Me: ok..jazzy's first

Jasper: i..feel like eating this pie...

Me; no! *gives the pie to Edward*

Edward: i feel like..kissing Bella!

Me: no! *gives the pie to Demetri*

Demetri: ok..so...one day..i woke up..and I found that my pet tigradoodle, Dental Floss, was dead *dry sobs*

Everyone but rose and eddy: *gasp*

me: *pats demetri on the back* im sorry Demetri..i know how it feels to have a dead pet...my twin sister *glares at lorena* killed most of them

Edward: tigradoodle?

Rose: you woke up? we're vampires! we don't go to sleep!

Heidi: a tigradoodle is a creature that is half tiger half poodle..Hayley Hayley made it! isn't it awesome?

Me; totally!

Josh: i know!

Me: *stares at josh*

Josh: you okay?

Me: *keeps staring*

josh: what's wrong?

Alice: *wakes up* josh!

Josh: *is scared*

Alice; what's wrong?

Me: *screams and hides behind Alec*

Josh: what's going on?

Me: Josh and Nour are in the same room...

Alec: so?

Nour: Josh!

Josh: evil aunt of Jessie!

Me: someone kill me!

Lorena: i'm conffuzled

Me: both of them want to destroy me..or put me in a mental hospital..so if you put the two of them together...

Aec: you're toast...

Seth; Toast cub meeting! *runs to my tent that's made out of bankets*

Me: *runs after him*

Josh and Nour: *shake their heads* freaks

Mimi: *drags jack and the ninjas out of the door* bye strange people! *walks out*

Me: ok..now what?

Seth: we...wait for it..wait for it..eat toast!

Me: OMG! that's like the best idea ever!

Seth: i know right! *high fives me*

Me: *walks out and drags seth with her*

Seth: *munches on some toast*

Me: OMG! guess what peoples?

Jasper: *groans* now what?

Me: i..have a death note thingy! *takes out a notebook out of her pocket that has the words death note on it*

Jazzy: what's that?

Me: i just said it's a death note thingy..do you not understand english?

Gabi; you weren't speaking enlglish...you were speaking Jessie-ish-ness-ese-tian!

Me; i know! ..AWESOME!

Alec: ..concieted!

Me: no i'm not!

Alec: yes you are!

Lorena: exactly

Me: *gasps* you think i'm concieted? but no one in the real world thinks that i'm concieted! *dramatically falls to the ground*

Alec:...

Me: *jumps up* I'm too awesome to be concieted! now..enough about me..back to the death note thingy...

Jazzy: care to explain?

Me: i was just about to do that! Patience!

Jacob: we're waiting...

Me: grr..freaks...ok..There's this epic anime called death note..

Eddy: how is it epic? you've only seen 3 episodes!

Me: since i like it..and i'm awesome..it's epic! understand?

Seth: i understand!

Jacob: shut up kid

Seth: don't tell me to shut up! i..have a pure mind!

Jacob: you have a pure mind cause you don't even have one!

Me: huh?

Jake: i'm sure edward can't even read seth's mind! cause seth is so dumb and all

Me: go die in a hole Jacob...

Emmett: that would be so awesome!

Me: so..as i was saying..this death note thingy-

Emmett: you didn't say anything!

Me: *ignores em* this thingy..has magic powers-

Jazz: let me guess..it can talk too?

Me; ugh! stop interupting me! it's rude! and jazz...just cause something can talk doesn't mean it has magic powers..since nearly everything here can talk...

Jazz: true..

Me: ok..so..when you write a person's name in this thingy..they die! isnt that just awesome or what?

Aro: no it's not..we can kill people when ever we want to...

Me: ya..but you don't have a note book that can do that..see where i'm going? *starts nodding like when peoples say 'see where i'm going' and no one gets it*

Caius: *stops digigng the hole and runs towards me* like OMG! this death note thingy is awesome!

Me: i know right!

Caius: like totally *hugs me*

Me: *hugs Caius*

Everyone else: O.o

Me: don't ruin the moment peoples!

everyone else: *start whistling awkwardly*

Me; ugh..too late..it's ruined

Caius: *runs away* the devil woman hugged me! ugh..i have to burn these robes now!

Me; yeah! and they looked awesome!

Alec: awesome?

Nour: ignore her...

Josh: ya..Nour and I were planning on sending her to a mental hospital anyways...

Seth: she's too awesome to be put in a mental hospital!

Me: yay! I have fans! *does a happy dance*

Caius: let's try the thingy out!

Me: sure! *looks at Josh and Nour* hmm..i know whose name's we should put in here...

Gabi: don't! no one's that heartless!

Josh and Nour: what ever...

Me: what? but i thought putting the names of evil aliens that hunt pies and eat them should die..aren't they the heartless ones?

Gabi: oh..ok..try it then...

Caius: *writes a random name*

Me: *dargs the evil alien that hunts pies and eats them whose name's is now in the thingy into her room*

*nothing happens to him*

Marcus: you do notice that this is a regular note book witht he words death note on it..don't you?

Me; it is? *the words death note fall down*

Caius: it's fake?

Me: yeah...awesome!

Caius: i know!

Nour: This..is gonna be a LONG night...

Me; yep *smiles happily*

Gabi: bye wonderful peoples! *waves*

Nour: don't forget to review...and you know this chapter was epic..I was in it..how could it not be epic?

Me: shut up woman...

Carlisle: review review review!

Sam: yes! review!

Jake: please! *gets down on his knees and starts begging* review!

Me: huh?

Jake: you have the evil Death Note thingy! it's scary...

Jared: very..

Me: OMG! that rhymes!

Esme: bye bye kids

Nessie: so long!

Jane and Lorena: you do notice that we've just spent fives minutes saying good bye, right?

**And this..is the really long chapter ten! Thank you everyone for your epic reviews! i just wanted to say..i do not own Death Note..yeah..so sad..i know..it's a great anime by the way for those that watch anime... um..Mimi..is my aunt's fiance..he does not know that i call him mimi..and he also does not know that he has the honor of being in my story! (yes it is an honor!..now don't give me those looks...grr) neither does my great grandma Nada know... Jack Sparrow is the really awesome- but not as awesome as cameron- Jhonny Depp from the Pirates of the Carrabean (idk how to spell it) ok..im done**

**bye peoples!**

**love y'all**

**Jessie~ the owner of da death note thingy XD **


	11. Liking Voldemort

**Twilight Chaos 11**

Isabella: hey guys!

Readers: hey Isabella!

Isabella: how ya doin'?

Readers: we're good

Isabella: well, that's nice to know *smiles*

Jazzy: where's Jessie?

Isabella: none of your business

Alice: aw! come on! tell us!

Isabella: what's the magic word?

Alice: please?

Isabella: wrong

Emmett: thank you!

Isabella: nope

Rosalie: will you just tell us where the freakin' psycopath is?

Isabella: go look in the mirror and you'll find out

Emmett: *laughs*

Alec: why do you guys care where she is? ...oh..and..she doesn't own Twilight...

Isabella: *gasp* she is one of your future wives!

Alec: she is?

Isabella: yes! Lorena's the other one..and so is Jessie's friend Jojo

Alec; ok..now..I'm scared..

Isabella: you should be

Seth: will you just tell us where she is?

Isabella: who are you talking about?

Seth: Jessie...

Isabella: what about her?

Seth: grr..where'd. she. go?

Isabella: OMG! Jessie left? how sad!

Edward: *bumps his head into a wall*

Wall: ok..now..I have had enough!

Aro: what do you mean my fellow wall?

Wall: you guys abuse me way too much! I'm going to Disney Land! *disappears*

Jacob: now we can escape! Freedom! *runs towards the place where the wall was but then bumps into another wall*

Nessie: you won't get to Hogwarts that way ya know...

Felix: yeah! this is how you go to Hogwarts! *eats a banana and disappears*

Isabella: My Jakey Poo!

Jake: my head!

Gianna: my Felix!

Me: My wall!

Everyone: Jessie!

Me; yes?

Bella: you're back!

Me: I am?

Esme: yes darling! *hugs me*

Me: okay? awkward...

Carlisle: where were you?

Me: uh..I don't know...

Jane: why are you so stupid?

Me: I don't know

Caius: how do you say 'Aro's an idiot with long ugly black hair and paper white skin that Bella thought would crumble if you touched it..even though Death note is awesome..which has nothing to do with Aro..and Jane loves Seth but is too shy to admit it..and Bella still likes Jacob..and Isabella should kill her for that and I am awesome and Alec likes you even though he's too stupid to admit it and that hikers look like frogs with bananas on their heads and that a clock is made out of flying pixies but no one but us two is stupid enough to know the truth about them and that closets have little alien monsters inside them that love tea parties and that'll hug when you meet them and that Mexican food is spicy' in Piearian?

Me: pie

Caius: OMG! you are awesome! I shall now crown you! *puts a pie on my head*

Me; yay! I'm a queen!

Everyone but Caius, paul, and I: O.o *stand in a line to take turns bumping their head into the new wall*

Paul: Piearian?

Caius: it's the language of pie

Paul: oh!

Caius: and now..since Jessie knew the answer to my question..I..the awesome and handsome Ciaus...declare her..not stupid!

*confetti magically falls out of the ceiling*

Me: wow...OMG! where's Felix?

Nessie: he went to Hogwarts

Me: awesome!

Nessie: I know!

Antonio: do you think they'll accept him there?

Me: we'll see..if he doesn't come after five seconds..then they've accepted him

*after five seconds*

felix: *walks in and throws his wizard hat on the floor and sulks in a corner*

Gianna: what's wrong love?

Felix: I got kicked out of hogwarts...

Me: why?

Felix; well..Hayley Hayley told me once that she wanted to pull Dumbledore's beard..I did that..and then..they kicked me out!

Me; how sad! so what if you pull someone's beard? Life..is so cruel...

Felix; I know! now leave me alone..I wanna sulk

Me: as you wish..

Felix: I do wish it...

Me: suit your self...

Rose: so..where were you?

Me: me?

Rose: no, my aunt Petunia

Emmett: isn't that Harry Potter's aunt?

Rose: *puts a hat on her head that says 'i give up'*

Emmett: what are you giving up?

Rose; finding any sanity in this house

Me; so sad *shakes head* anyways, guess who's here

Jake: scare me..

Me: Lord voldemort!

Aro; OMG! like really?

Me; like ya!

Aro; like awesome!

Me: like i know!

Voldermort: *walks in through the new wall* like ava kadavra!

Me : like what part of 'Jessie is the evil authoress that can control you' do you not like undertsand?

Voldemort: like nothing

Me: you're like so epic!

Edwrad: epic?

Me: I'm like trying to stop like saying awesome!

Carlisle: like cool!

Me: like, everything that I like do, is cool!

Carlisle: like totally!

Esme: dear, why are you liking?

carlisle: like cause like liking is like fun

Me: like totally

Voldemort: like ya

Me: like pie

the new wall: like awesome peoples

Salma: *walks thorugh the wall* like i'm here people!

Jacob: ok..so now everyone can walk thorugh the wall but me?

Isabella: that's cause you're like so like awesome!

Aro: OH MY GOD! I'M FEEL SO LIKE PRETTY..I MISS MY BUTTERFLIES *glares at Edward* YOU RUINED MY FAMILY OF BUTTERFLIES!

Isabella: OMG! Aro's like having a moment!

Caius: like weird

Salma: I LIKE LOVE EMMETT!

Sam: like why are you like screaming?

Salma: cause like Jessie had the like caps lock on when i like said that

Rose: keep away from my monkey man!

Everyone but rose: *gasps*

Rose: eh? what's wrong?

Voldemort: you like didnt' say like in your like sentence!

Me: like fail

Salma; like what?

Me; like i dont know, people say that when like uh..i don't know..people just say that

Salma: like neat

Seth: like Salma so like who are you?

Salma: I'm like Jessie's friend from the like real world

emmett: you mean the like world where gummy bears are like abiotic creatures and butterflies are like tiny insects?

Salma; like that's like the one

Jasper: *like gasps* I don't like believe it!

Alice; like I know! people like treat butterflies horribly in like the real world

Jasper; no, I mean like, Emmett said abiotic! I never knew he was like that smart!

Salma; like you're just jealous

Alec; like why would he be jealous?

Salma: like cause he isn't as awesome as Emmett

Me: Japser is like awesomer than Emmett

Salma: if he's so like awesome then why didn't take his like face?

Emmett: *in like shock* you like took my face?

Me; well, at my like friend's birthday party, her cake had the cullens on it-

Aro: like rubbish, the Volturi are like awesome-er than the Cullens

Me; like I know right? so..Salma's older sister Nada like wanted to take the piece with Emmett's face on it..but she was like full..so I took it for her *smiles*

Jake; so she likes Emmett?

Me; actually, she like loves you, but your face wasn't on the cake..

Salma: like freaks

Isabella: like, no one is gonna take my like Jakey-poo from like me!

Voldemrot: *laughs evilly*

Me; like why are you like laughing?

voldemort: i like videotaped you freaks and like put the video on like Youtube

Me: like awe- i mean like epic!

Seth: *opens Youtube* OMG! we got like 0 views!

Me: OMG! we are like epic!

Edward: 0 views means like no one watched it

Me: like how could they like watch it?

Edwrad: I'm like conffuzled

Me; it was a ninja video! see for like yourself *shows Edward the video*

Edward: like what? where are we?

Me: as I like said, it's a like ninja video, we're so ninjarific no one was able to see us!

Bella; like cool!

Voldemort: like i know!

Salma; *hugs Emmett* I like love you!

Emmett: like awwwwww!

Rose: grr

Me: *burns Edward's hair*

Eddy: like why did you do like that?

Me; cause like Gabi said she wanted to like burn your hair..but i forogt..so it's like burning like now

Carma: like cool! *dances around the burning Edward*

Voldemort: I'm like so bored..

Me; and I'm like sick *frowns* and my parents made me not go to school today..and I have like three quizes! grr

Alec: like so sad

Me: like I know! but we like gotta go now peoples!

Carlisle and Alec; like byeeeeeeeeez!

Salma: review or else I'll um..like make a crocodile eat you!

Me; she's not like kidding..or is she?

*scary and creepy music in the background*

Felix; the vampires are like attacking us!

Jane; *tortures Felix* you're a vampire you like idiot!

Caius: like bye like epic people!

**sorry peoples for the like really short chapter..i got writer's block D: and i really am sick..so i can't think straight D:  
Review!**

**Oh and I'm not making fun of anyone by the way, I say 'like' all the time :D**

**love, Jessie, your fav (don't deny it!) authoress~**


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